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I’m not sure how to start anymore.

Making art shouldn’t be a conscious effort since the boundaries of art and life are often blurred. But with my constant pursuit to carve a career and my disillusionment that maybe, just maybe, I could change the world in a small little way through my job, I’ve forgone art. 

Of days where I pored over books, toyed new concepts, allowed sketches and ideas to spill freely through the pages of my sketchbook – where have they gone? The weight of my full-time job brings nothing but exhaustion upon nightfall, and the body is unable to resist the temptation to sink into slumber. Is it my fault that something I once took pride in now requires effort that is beyond me? What wouldn’t I give to be able to make art without restraint again?


One Comment

  1. creating/making art does require a lot of energy, initiative and motivation to keep going.

    having a demanding day job that saps your energy to continue anything at night is natural and you shouldn’t be hard on yourself because of the circumstances.

    maintaining the purity and sustaining the state of mind to create art is a condition that is rather one tracked unless you:

    1) turn it into a business
    2) have a single driven goal (eg. be famous)
    3) fulfill some personal agenda

    remember Kristeva’s book on abjection? (its with arron now lol). you should look and treat art as an abjection. not only you will be able to cope better in this situation, and also you will come back stronger when the time comes.

    artists are at their best when they are in their 30s anyways.

    so you have a lot of time to live life and come back to art another time. maybe you’d get lucky and find that you don’t need art in your life to be happy, you never know.

    art is everywhere, you won’t be far from it at anytime.

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